When it just makes sense. When it just feels right.
21.02.2014 7 °C
In general my goal is to transform accounting so that it's more holistic and representative of the interconnected system and Web of life we are all apart of. What that will look like evolves but for now, it looks like me learning more about ecological economics, growing and engaging in the new economy, and doing Permaculture and accounting. I'm going to help out as finance manager of this organisation in Tanzania that has an eco-village and has Permaculture deeply woven into their very fabric... 'Tis true, the possibilities are endless....almost too endless, but I trust everything is in flow.
The time is drawing close, and I will be heading off to Tanzania once again. Perhaps if one has only been following the blog post, then it may not be clear how deeply connected I felt to the lands, and the people over in Tanzania, such that I knew I would return. Though if you spoke to me since my return you won't be surprised by any of this! It's something that has been on my mind since I came back to Canada in August of 2010, a feeling inside that can't quite be expressed with words, nor extinguished with anything else - I knew I would return.
In Vancouver, over the past three and a half years I've made some amazing connections, met some phenomenal people, and finished what I started doing which was completing my Master in Accounting, and getting certified as a Chartered Accountant. Wow, am I ever stoked the UFE is behind me!! I was also fortunate enough to spend two summers in Saskatoon, this was where the Master happened, but where I also discovered my love of Permaculture; where it was first introduced to me, it along with many amazing, caring, genuine, and loving folks. I completed a Permaculture Design Certificate Course on Bowen Island, with Pacific Permaculture, taught by my good friend, Jesse Lemieux. That ended in June 2013, and then I qualified for my CA in August 2013. Now...to combine the two - Accounting and Permaculture. : )
I've now left my financially secure job to pursue what felt undeniably right inside my being. Because if not now, then when? Life is short and there is no reason we need to spend it "hating our Mondays", and not taking responsibility for our own happiness! To be clear, I deeply appreciate the experience I've had to date, getting my CA designation, the amazing mentors I've met along the way, and the experience to last a lifetime, which will surely help me in my future endeavors. I use the monday's as a general expression of how I've noticed people feel in jobs they are unsatisfied with, and it's become the "norm"...but it's not normal! Follow your heart!
The plane ride home, leaving Tanzania, feels like yesterday. The bracelets I have had on my right wrist since my return in 2010 remain, as a visual and tangible reminder of my time over there, of how meaningful it was to me; they also keep me feeling connected. I vividly remember looking out the window on that airplane ride back to Canada thinking "I will be back, and I will be in the airplane returning, remember this exact moment"....and that day is coming close. I officially leave March 11, 2014, at 1am, and those thoughts will surely cross my mind. So many times have I looked up at airplanes and thought "soon...soon I will be in that, and headed back". It's cool to watch that transform into reality.
So, I was debating if I would write as part of my other blog, or start a new blog, or just keep this one going and I opted to keep this one going because a ) it has the previous Africa trip, b) it has geared to travel - though this is more work than travel, but that's ok....and c) why not...although, it seems I can't see stats on this blog so maybe I will convert to blogspot.... TBD.
Why am I REALLY going?
A few people have told me "that's so great of you to go help", or, if they are wishing I'd stay they say "there are so many people here who need your help instead!"...so I feel I should clear up my reasons for going : )
My intention is not to help people. At first read that may seem preposterous or even cruel of me to say. I hope that one can understand where I am coming from when I say that. It is not that I don't want to help people, it's that, I recognize it is not my place to go over and "help".... it's the history of "help" and what that's done that fuels my thoughts around this, but it's also the fact that, I don't think we have it "right" over here in the Western World, and I am not intending on saving anyone, or what have you. I'm open to sharing information because it's good to share, if the moment is right...., but quite honestly, I believe I will be helped more than I could ever help. And I witnessed that the last time I was there.
The beauty of it all though, is that by me helping myself, I help others, too. This is made possible by virtue of all of us being deeply interconnected. As I said before to a friend, in the world of interbeing, the concept of "selfish" doesn't even exist - how can it?
My desire to go back to Tanzania is one that can't easily be put to words because it is a feeling, a calling. A deep deep sense of rightness, I can feel it inside, and it's beautiful - to be in perfect alignment with your inner purpose/calling/core - whatever you want to call it. It's what I would like to do, experience, see, and be - it has nothing to do with feeling this sense of "omg, I need to help people,". It comes from a place of certainty, and genuine interest in other ways of life - it does not come from a place of frantic or pre-formulated action.
Quitting my job, and leaving the consistency of every day life is scary to many, and perhaps even unthinkable, and what I've done may well be deemed crazy by even more but to me it just feels right. Despite being in a situation of complete unknown, I feel something inside me that says - this is absolutely exactly where I need to be, all possibilities exist; potential is in its purest form and life is going to emerge beautifully as it intends to. By me stepping out of control, resistance, and routine, I've allowed my self to exist in flow, and be open to the beautiful synchronicity that is, life.
So, this is why I am going, and I absolutely can't wait!